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Articles Take Back the Power continued by Bronwyn Fox One of the first and by far the biggest obstacles to taking back the power is a lack of compassion towards self. True compassion is the recognition, understanding and the ability to fully feel the pain of our own individual suffering without mentally abusing ourselves, 'I am hopeless, stupid, worthless etc' and without the brutal self hatred many people feel. When we can feel our own pain and suffering, without trying to avoid it, we then recognise, at a very deep level, the pain and suffering in others. But true compassion does not mean taking responsibility for other peoples' pain, it means first and foremost, taking responsibility for how we deal with our own. In the early stages of an anxiety disorder people say, 'This is not me, I am not like this' and in doing so, they negate and invalidate their own suffering and pain. Most people cannot see, let alone acknowledge or appreciate their own strength and courage which has bought them thus far. The first step in taking back the power means learning to be compassionate toward ourselves. How can people recover when they continually invalidate, mentally abuse and hate themselves? How can people feel true compassion for others if they cannot feel it for themselves? How can they recognise strength and courage in others, when they are not able to see it in themselves? When we as individuals can begin to be kind to ourselves, when we can feel our own pain and suffering without trying to avoid it, when we can accept, 'I do have an anxiety disorder', and when we accept our own strength and courage, we take back the power. The other major obstacle, which keeps people disempowered is again related to compassion. While in time people may accept their anxiety disorder and accept their strength and courage, there are so many others things that have to be done before they can concentrate on recovery. Usually the other things are for other people. Recovery can end up on the list of priorities as number 5, or 10 or number 20. Bringing recovery to number one priority goes against who people think they should be and what they think compassion is. Many give away their power and recovery in the belief they are being selfish in making their recovery number one priority. There is no denying other people can and do get upset when people start to say no and begin to put themselves first. The question of selfishness arises time and time again, not only from people with the disorder, but also from partners, family members and/or friends. But how can caring about, and looking after our own mental health be selfish? Taking back the power means recovery needs to be number one priority. The question, 'If no one is going to rescue me.....?' , can lead us, sometimes quite dramatically, to the shift in the power base between us and our anxiety disorder. We have the power, it is already there, it is not something we have to manufacture. Recognising and using our power means self responsibility which in turn leads to freedom. Freedom from the disorders and freedom to be who we really are, not who we think we should be. The choice is ours! References Branden N., 1994, The Six Pillars of Self Esteem, Bantam, New York  |
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Last modified: June 12, 2007