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Self Help

Beginning Again continued

by Bronwyn Fox

Some people will be using medication, other people won't be. It is very individual. All we need to start the recovery process is an openness to learn, and the determination to recover.

We start the process of recovery, by learning how to use a cognitive technique. 'Learning' being the operative word. Recovery is going to take time and we are going to need to learn patience. Patience with ourselves and patience with the recovery process. Of course we all want to recover right now, in this moment, but as we know this is not going to happen. We can't learn and develop our skills in a day or so.

When we learn to drive, we aren't able to just get into a car and drive straight onto the Formula One Circuit. We need to learn how to drive first, and with ongoing practice we become more relaxed and skilful in our driving. As our skills evolve, we learn to drive under different conditions on different 'tracks'. It is the same in what ever we do. We don't start university and receive a PhD the next day. We don't learn to ski and be immediately accepted into the Olympic team. We need to learn and develop our skills.

So too with the recovery. Recovery is a learning process and we need to approach recovery in this way. We need to learn about our panic and anxiety. The more we learn about our them, the more power we are going to have to help us defeat them permanently And this is going to take time, effort and energy. We can't just read about mindfulness or other cognitive techniques, try them once or twice and then wonder why it is not working. We need to put them into practice. We do need to become disciplined in our approach to recovery in the same way that 'would be' Formula one drivers, PhD students or 'would be' Olympic skiers do.

While we are an extremely responsible group of people, we take the responsibility for everyone else and not ourselves. One of the first things we learn in working through to recovery is that we need to become responsible for ourselves. In a follow up program to our panic anxiety management program, I asked participants what self responsibility meant to them during the recovery process.

They replied

	"Recognising that our mental health is just as important as our physical health. No one's mental health is more important than our own." This is so true. We spend so much time looking after other peoples' mental health by doing all that we can to make them happy. We don't realise that in doing so we neglect our own. Self responsibility means that we need to begin to take care of ourselves and our mental health.
	"Working in partnership with ourselves, rather than in opposition to ourselves. " We do work in opposition to ourselves. We want to recover, but we keep putting off all that we can do to help ourselves, because we are meeting the needs and expectations of other people. In this instance, self responsibility means learning to listen to ourselves , discovering and meeting our own needs rather than disregarding them. Disregarding ourselves and our own needs impacts on our mental health.
	"Treating ourselves with dignity and respect." We do mentally abuse ourselves on a daily basis. This is not taking care of our mental health. We need to treat ourselves the same way as we treat other people.
	"Accepting that we do have an anxiety disorder. If in doubt it is our responsibility to seek a second opinion." If we don't accept our disorder, then all we are working in opposition with ourselves and adding to our mental distress.
	"Being totally honest with our doctor. Our doctor cannot make a full assessment if we are not fully open and honest with them. " If we are not being totally honest with our doctor we are not being responsible for ourselves. And we will doubt the diagnosis which in turn adds to our mental distress. Again we are working in opposition to ourselves.
	"Recognising that asking for help in working through our anxiety disorder is healthy." Many people with an anxiety disorder feel that they must be 'strong' and that asking for help is being 'weak'. Asking for help is one of the most responsible and respectful things we can do for ourselves and our mental health
	"Making a commitment to ourselves to work through to recovery." A twenty percent effort will give us a twenty percent improvement. A one hundred percent effort will give us a one hundred percent improvement.
	"Taking responsibility for our recovery from this moment on." Other wise we will not recover !
	"Learning about our anxiety disorder." The more we learn about it, the more we can defeat it permanently.
	"Becoming disciplined in practising meditation or relaxation" Our mental health requires nothing less !
	"Becoming disciplined in our approach to recovery." Is there any other way to recover ?
	"Learning not to worry about what other people think." What's more important? What people think of us, or what we think of ourselves ?
	"Not trying to have the perfect text book recovery." A perfect textbook recovery is bad for our mental health
	"Making our recovery our number one priority." Is there anything else more important ?

I know that it does sound all too hard and all too complicated. I have been there and I know it does seem like so much work. As people say to me, and as I used to say to myself, "there has to be an easier way to recover ! "

When we first start out on the journey to recovery, we don't see the 'bigger picture'. We don't see where the process of recovery is going to take us. It can seem all to hard. We need to see the recovery process for what it is, a learning and an evolving one. One that will bring us not just recovery, but so much more. As all of us who have recovered will say, that what we learn through the recovery process is one of the greatest gifts we can be given. It is worth the effort and then some.

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